SATIRE WARNING!

If you do not wish to read a lot of useless information, (just like my latest satirical-serious blog) skip to the latest line of this entry, to see what I want to say in this blog

So I've been trying to write as much contests lately especially on CodeForces and Hackerrank, because after all, I'm clearly one of the most
       
               valuable              and            smartest
programmers on these websites. Tourist? Pfft! What a joke! He's not a programmer greater than me unless he went to IOI at the age of 11, and had gotten a Gold Medal on IOI for 6 years in a row, which we all know he totally didn't....

                          
                           awkward silence
   
Anyway that's where the contests come in! If you truly wish to become almost as great as I am, then you will need to solve contests! They are much more interesting than any kind of upsolving or virtual gyms, because unless somebody can see the results and take them seriously. And don't worry if you're Candidate Master or higher, but the contest is only for Div 2! Just create another account! It's literally that easy!

Who cares about those scrubs that may lose the motivation because such "tryhards" as you are creating new accounts to get their rating up, am I right? Who cares that their rating may go down, because you took their oh so precious first spot? They're not as good as you, so they are irrelevant! Just look at Codeforces Round 301 (Div. 2)! Out of top 9 contestants, only 3 of them are not new accounts! They're not as good as the people whose main account may have 2000 or more rating that just decided to created a new account to have a higher rating on their overall record! Who cares about them?

The important thing is that you are in the top 10! Even if it's much easier than your actual level, it doesn't change the fact that YOU, are the one on the top of the ladder! So just get as high rating as your can, nobody cares about your actual level, only the fact that you are higher than them in the standings!
   
"But Xephy! When should I start?", you may ask. And I'm here to give you an answer! Just register to the closest available contest! Except those filthy "Testing Rounds" and pfft " Educational (educational, yeah sure, ain't nobody isn't buying that crap Mike, it's not a real contest unless your rating changes!) Rounds" They are for filthy casuals and scrubs! Just look:

Wait... Huh? There's the #337 contest... #338 contest... #335 contest... but not a #336th contest...? And also no #339th contest...? What? My ego is confused...

...

..

.

Well... You could say that the 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9! HA! GET IT? IT'S BECAUSE THERE'S NO 336TH CONTEST AND NO 339TH CONTE~ gunshot
   
Or you know... Just don't. It doesn't matter how much rating do you have, or how many accounts do you have raised to Div 1. What does matter is your performance during the contests when it MATTERS. Oh dropped a little rating during the latest contest? Doesn't matter, if you at least know how to solve these problems afterwards. Messed up during the contest and couldn't solve an easy problem? Don't even care about it! Just try to solve some other problems that are solvable with this topic/algorithm so you won't forget about it next time!

And those people? That create new accounts just for the sake of screwing other people over and stealing the top places? Just ignore them. YOU know your level more than any other system. That rating number? That nickname color? They are just numbers/colors. They don't mean anything, as long as you try and improve, these two will change accordingly.

Don't look at other people. Look at yourself. And remember to always be positive! Xephy out!

(P.S. also Xellos pls never change, i luv your dank memes!)