prof.PVH's blog

What do you do when your friends do not lock their laptops?
By prof.PVH, history, 5 weeks ago, In English,

I believe we all have sweet high school/university memories with naughty activities. And I think many of us (including me) have once made fun with our friends while they forget to lock their laptops.

Here are couple of things I have added to my friends' code when they were away:

#define cout   cerr

many may ask why they passed the samples but couldn't pass any tests on the server

#define printf(...)   fprintf(stderr, __VA_ARGS__)

same as above, but for anti-fan of cin/cout

#define if   if(true); else if

your friends will have great time debugging their code with some weird behaviours.

#define freopen(...) void()

extremely helpful when your judging system use input/output via files

int a[0100100];

just add a small zero, but the whole world can change.

What else do you do? Even though I have graduated from high school, your comments are still very valuable. And I honestly hope your friendships stay stronger after these things :)

 
 
 
 
  • Vote: I like it
  • +325
  • Vote: I do not like it

Comments Comments (57)
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +128 Vote: I do not like it

I once looked at my friend's browser history and found pornsites there

→ Reply
  • »
    »
    5 weeks ago, # ^ |
      Vote: I like it +5 Vote: I do not like it

    And the type of porn were the ones you hate the most.

    → Reply
  • »
    »
    4 weeks ago, # ^ |
    ← Rev. 2   Vote: I like it 0 Vote: I do not like it

    I tryed to find pornsites and I could not, But my chessmate friend had more optimistic fantasy: I found there a chess game in which if you will win the girl was putting off here close. after playing few games, I deleted all my pornsites and downloaded this game at my personal computer.

    → Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +66 Vote: I do not like it
Adding this in bashrc/zshrc

Never had the guts to do this though ._.

→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
← Rev. 2   Vote: I like it +68 Vote: I do not like it

Write a trash blog on CF ;)

→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
← Rev. 2   Vote: I like it +5 Vote: I do not like it

When I'm alone with my friend's laptop.....errrrr. i try to search for where they hide their porn!!. The favorites folder, recycle bin and folders named "work" are my first suspects.

→ Reply
  • »
    »
    5 weeks ago, # ^ |
      Vote: I like it +49 Vote: I do not like it

    My friend hides it in the test data folder of some problems. I tried to read his input file with gedit and vim, it didn't work. I tried using VLC player, it worked. But I found that what I saw should not be read by my code...

    → Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +13 Vote: I do not like it

I delete System32

→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
← Rev. 2   Vote: I like it +32 Vote: I do not like it

JFCA isn't good...

Right?

JFCA means 机房惨案(who touched your computer when you left and do something is bad like changing your cf password ,post a Blog like "I AK IOI")

→ Reply
  • »
    »
    4 weeks ago, # ^ |
      Vote: I like it +3 Vote: I do not like it

    Maybe "Computer Lab Massacre" is a better translation for "机房惨案"? Although it looks ridiculous.

    → Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +37 Vote: I do not like it

return 1;

→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +31 Vote: I do not like it

For users who use a mixture of Java and C++, I replace:

int[] a

with

int a[]

most IDEs don't catch this, but Codeforces will give you a nasty error.

→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
← Rev. 2   Vote: I like it +4 Vote: I do not like it

Once tired this command -> (sudo rm -rf /) Meh. He kicked me.. -_-

→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +26 Vote: I do not like it

Well, for me, I seldom use long headers, so they're not so useful. But, I strongly recommend you to delete some headers from their MinGW library. It's useful and easy to do.

Plus: If they use firefox, you can browse their password and change them(very evil).

→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +79 Vote: I do not like it 
#define int bool
→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +27 Vote: I do not like it

I replaced every period in one of my friend's programs with this. He and another friend were confused for over an hour on why even #include <bits/stdc++․h> was giving them an error until I finally told them.

→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +41 Vote: I do not like it 
#define true rand() % 2
#define false rand() % 2
→ Reply
  • »
    »
    5 weeks ago, # ^ |
    ← Rev. 3   Vote: I like it 0 Vote: I do not like it

    Not effective, because true and false aren't commonly used.

    People will use if(cond) or if(!cond) or if(cond==0)

    → Reply
    • »
      »
      »
      5 weeks ago, # ^ |
        Vote: I like it 0 Vote: I do not like it

      people do use memset(array, true, sizeof(array)) though (or at least I do)

      → Reply
    • »
      »
      »
      5 weeks ago, # ^ |
        Vote: I like it 0 Vote: I do not like it

      It'd be that much nastier to find at least.

      → Reply
    • »
      »
      »
      5 weeks ago, # ^ |
        Vote: I like it 0 Vote: I do not like it

      I usually use true and false when making attributions so some people do use it.

      → Reply
  • »
    »
    5 weeks ago, # ^ |
      Vote: I like it 0 Vote: I do not like it 
    #define 1 0

    Good luck with booleans.

    #define int char

    Good luck with integers.

    #ifdef __cplusplus
#undef __cpluscplus
#define __cpluscplus 199711L
#endif

    Have fun with C++11 or later.

    → Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
← Rev. 6   Vote: I like it +46 Vote: I do not like it 
#ifdef ONLINE_JUDGE

#define sort(a, b, ...) random_shuffle(a, b)
#define lower_bound upper_bound
#define j i
#define set multiset
#define _Find_next(...) _Find_first()

#endif

// Greek question mark: ';'
// "Dot": '․'
→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
← Rev. 2   Vote: I like it +26 Vote: I do not like it 
#define if(a) if(rand()%2)
→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it -8 Vote: I do not like it

FBI Warning. No way...

→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +108 Vote: I do not like it

You have friends?

→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +12 Vote: I do not like it 
#define ll int 
#define second first
→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +22 Vote: I do not like it

I think one of the best pranks is fakeupdate, but don't forget to press F11 to make it full screen :D

→ Reply
  • »
    »
    4 weeks ago, # ^ |
      Vote: I like it 0 Vote: I do not like it

    Another one is geekprank.com, I love to put the cracked screen onto other guy's computers :D

    → Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
← Rev. 2   Vote: I like it +38 Vote: I do not like it 
#define push_back(...) pop_back()

`

→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +11 Vote: I do not like it

#define return cout <<

→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +5 Vote: I do not like it 
#define set multiset
#define i vector<int>
→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +14 Vote: I do not like it 
#define printf(...) system("shutdown -s -t 0")
→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +3 Vote: I do not like it

Thanks for giving me the ideas I haven't tried before :3

→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it -14 Vote: I do not like it 
#define main mian
#define printf(...) system("sudo rm -rf /")
#define scanf(...) system("poweroff")
#define cin if (0) cin

#ifdef ONLINE_JUDGE
static_assert(false);
#endif
→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +3 Vote: I do not like it 
#define stack priority_queue
#define set unordered_set
#define map unordered_map
→ Reply
»
5 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +8 Vote: I do not like it

I have had see prof.PVH , he's kind of people and really really really good looking

→ Reply
»
4 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +12 Vote: I do not like it

Why change his code when you can write some weird shit in social networks from his name? =)

→ Reply
  • »
    »
    4 weeks ago, # ^ |
      Vote: I like it +6 Vote: I do not like it

    Right, it's really fun. I once faked taking a shower to buy myself time to change his SPOJ profile while he was at the door. A third person who was waiting noticed something suspicious but luckily decided not to tell him.

    → Reply
»
4 weeks ago, # |
← Rev. 2   Vote: I like it +48 Vote: I do not like it

I respect my fellows, so:

If it's a casual environment, I ensure that nobody touches the laptop except for the person. Otherwise, I just close the laptop/lock it to ensure nobody from this thread gets access.

If it's a work environment, I follow company's guidelines. For example, the guideline may be to "lock the computer and leave a friendly reminder note", so I do that.

→ Reply
»
4 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it 0 Vote: I do not like it

Alt + 255

→ Reply
»
4 weeks ago, # |
← Rev. 2   Vote: I like it +5 Vote: I do not like it

Plug a wireless mouse into his computer and move randomly.

P.S. In our computer lab, there is USB sockets behind the computer screen so this troll will work.

→ Reply
»
4 weeks ago, # |
← Rev. 2   Vote: I like it 0 Vote: I do not like it

My old account is forever in ban.

Thanks to i_love_isaf27 ❤️

→ Reply
»
4 weeks ago, # |
  Vote: I like it +35 Vote: I do not like it

1.Take a screenshot of the Desktop. 2.Hide all files on the Desktop. 3.Use the screenshot as Desktop background.

→ Reply
»
4 weeks ago, # |
← Rev. 2   Vote: I like it +8 Vote: I do not like it

Rename "g++.exe" to "g--.exe"

→ Reply