HeartbrokenGuy's blog

By HeartbrokenGuy, history, 4 months ago, In English

Hi Codeforces!

Today I'm going to share a bit about the relation of CP and my love life. So I'm currently a member of my university's CP team. I actually have "retired" from CP since February this year due to internship and stuff, but the CP team lacked a member to so I was called back to the team.

Then I met this girl. She's a freshman when I rejoined the team. I was teamed up with her (actually, until now) and I started developed feelings for her. She's the kindest girl that I've met and now I'm pretty deeply in love right now. But then, I believe many other guys are also trying to get close to her and I'm not confident she shares the same feelings as me. We're already quite close, but merely as friends now. Should I just confess right now, or should I wait to confirm her feelings as well?

If you have any advice, please do share it in the comments. Thanks!

Update: Reality hurts :')

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4 months ago, # |
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Are you ripped? Are you popular? Are you attractive?

Just Confess... If she says no become the best version of urself to show her what she missed out on

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    4 months ago, # ^ |
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    Are you ripped? Are you popular?

    the average IQ of girls who look for these things in potential partners probably hovers in the unrated-newbie range

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      4 months ago, # ^ |
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      Why can skilled guys look for beautiful girls and can't skilled girls look for ripped guys?

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      4 months ago, # ^ |
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      insane amount of cope

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    4 months ago, # ^ |
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    If she says no become the best version of urself to show her what she missed out on

    I'm not motivated (anymore?) by trying to make other people feel bad.

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4 months ago, # |
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I think in such a situation I would play the role of the "old wise humble guy", that's just me. But all in all, do what your gut says. Do something that you don't regret in the future. If she likes you, spring for it. Otherwise let it roll. Think about it, I know you will make the best decision for you.

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4 months ago, # |
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You may wait for some time and be a good friend of hers. Just merely spending time with someone makes the heart grow fonder. I don't know how long you have been together, but building a good relationship would take 6 months to 1 year. Again don't take anything for granted as it's quite complex to understand girls. Always remember "You may be the juiciest, ripest peach in the world and still there will be someone in the world who won't love Peaches"

PS: Personally I think CP'ers should avoid girls as They will occupy your mind and you won't be able to concentrate on your goals. PS: I also know lot of friends who have a GF and very good at CP. Actually to be honest to say most of them have GF but I think if you can't make the right choice there will be lots of drama and bad memories which will definitely hinder your progress. That's all I have to say.

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    4 months ago, # ^ |
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    lmao my friend got from a bronze medalist to a silver medalist in IOI after having a gf for his improvement. I wonder if having a gf is the reason. I also think that IOI 2023's champion also has a gf.

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    4 months ago, # ^ |
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    Lose focus. Life over :'(

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    4 months ago, # ^ |
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    How can you manage to "avoid girls" if they are more than 50% of the population?

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4 months ago, # |
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TimDee Please help this poor soul with your valuable experience.

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4 months ago, # |
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I think "confessing" as such is a bad strategy. She can feel like you dumped a heavy emotional burden on her, which can be off-putting, even if she kinda likes you.

Instead, I recommend approaching it like a friend to friend conversation, like you're asking for advice. Tell her you've been thinking about her romantically, and ask what you should do with those feelings.

I think this will make her more prone to say yes and, if she doesn't, you can talk it out and process your feelings so you can still be friends without much awkwardness.

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4 months ago, # |
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In my opinion, there's a chance that she's just being friendly to you and the other guys. Your feelings for her may not be mutual, as she's just being kind.

For now, I suggest that you should:

  • confirm your feelings for her are true and are not based on the FOMO of the competition to get her
  • go on activities that include her
  • chat with her to learn more about her life outside CP
  • always be there for her Ensure you are not interacting with her in a manner that annoys/disturbs her.

If you are really really sure about your own feelings, then you can try to approach her. Take her for a walk somewhere, just the two of you. And talk about your feelings for her.

  • if she accepts, then all is well.
  • if she rejects, then I guess it's not your luck. But, be clear to her if you still want to keep your friendship with her. Or perhaps tell her that you will support whomever she chooses in the future as you are rooting for her happiness.

Best of luck, Bro!

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4 months ago, # |
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ramG_reddy Guide Him Please

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4 months ago, # |
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Ok, I think firstly you must try to get closer to her. I personally think it would be weird if you get confessed by someone you can't even consider as a friend. Try to talk to her more I guess, at least be considered a close friend (whom she feels like talking to during her free time) before confessing.

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4 months ago, # |
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Before you act on your caprice, I urge you not to pursue your romantic ardor, for they may be perilous for your growth. More often than not, such endeavors end up in rancorous estrangement and leave indelible poignant memories. I fathom that your goals and priorities can change, but if you have a fervent desire to succeed, I deter you from pursuing this remiss desire.

tldr; https://youtu.be/Yw-u6sE1tPY?t=10

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4 months ago, # |
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I think you can try to ask her out and see what her reaction is.

If things work, well done, otherwise, just move on and do something else.

It's really the best way to approach this situation.

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4 months ago, # |
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If it goes well, it goes well and you are in a relationship.

On the other hand, if it does not, then your future interactions can be based on how would you feel if you had a gf who was still friends with someone who liked/proposed to her?Cause many have their exes, or "fwb" or something with them too. Go forward on your principles then, easy for a man to move forward in life, though idiots shame men for that.

My friend and acquaintances have been burned by these "friends = guys who had proposed but are now friends", male friends, work-husbands etc and nobody out there will take care of your mind when it happens, some will forgive their girlfriend and misery is their best friend , yada yada, the loss is too great for a normal guy in this world. Even venting would be seen bad by some normies.

These things are not simple, based on locations.Somewhere it is simple, somewhere else, girls will have guys who proposed to them, friends in friend zone, guys they just like but not right now, etc in their list.That is a lot complicated and drama so staying away and keeping the peace in your life intact will be the best decision.

Even after the relationship, or like in the starting, discuss the things you will not compromise on and then make sure your reciprocate it by respecting theirs.If you get somebody who just shouts "insecurity" at you, leave.

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4 months ago, # |
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hit her with "damn girl are you a graph? cuz I wanna depth first search you" and if that doesn't work then it wasn't meant to be.

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4 months ago, # |
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I just want to know the Final Output whether you confess or not please update it in the blog.

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Life Advice
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4 months ago, # |
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All the girlfriends I had I never had to confess , my partner didn't confess either.As time went we naturally knew that we have become each other's partners. Currently what I see in your case is girl doesn't have that much feelings for you yet.If you confess she may / mayn't feel for you . So it's a risk.So question is that is the risk worth taking?It is worth taking if you're extremely sure about her otherwise not

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4 months ago, # |
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Make a move!

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4 months ago, # |
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Are yall super close? I would say to try to get to know her better, and maybe flirt a little to see how they respond. If they respond positively they are more likely to say yes, and if not then prob not. good luck with whatever you choose to do though! i am wishing you well

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2 months ago, # |
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Wow, I also met a girl so easy to fall in love with. I don't know how to tell her about my feelings too. It's just so painful, watching a distant girl and trying to get close.

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2 months ago, # |
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LOL

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2 months ago, # |
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imagine liking women

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2 months ago, # |
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Loveforces?

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    2 months ago, # ^ |
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    this word youve just said have two meanings and im actually afraid of both.

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2 months ago, # |
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You can also write a sad love song to her in a form of string of length $$$n$$$ just like what Petya did to Vasya at 1539B - Песня о любви

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2 months ago, # |
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What's her handle on Codeforces?

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2 months ago, # |
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It's been two months we all want update :D

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2 months ago, # |
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As i see it there are two options : -Practice cp -Confess your feelings , if you succeed GG , otherwise , being heartbroken will be a great fueler for reaching red

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2 months ago, # |
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You are asking the wrong people; all of the comments are from people who have little to no knowledge, and they will tell you to find the appropriate DS or check the time constrains for this problem.

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2 months ago, # |
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We need an update bro

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2 months ago, # |
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Flip a coin

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2 months ago, # |
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do presents like flowers or chocolates to show your feelings to her and so that she can develop them for you. You also can ask her for dinners and coffees. When you are more confident about the answer yes, ask her. To make sure you dont lose her before that just give her more attention than everybody else.

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4 weeks ago, # |
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bro is asking a community of incels for love advice

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4 weeks ago, # |
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I understand you because same thing happened to me too. I tried to forget for month but couldn't, maybe it's because of I see her everyday. I felt better when I confessed even though I rejected.