During a discussion with one of my classmates about hardest problems for CPers, we all agreed that it would be nice to solve at least one of them, thus engraving our names in the history of the CP community. After thinking hard and intense research I am sure that we came up with a satisfying solution for finding bitches in O(1) complexity.
The time complexity
One would ask oneself, if there are N bitches around ones area, how could one find them in constant complexity. One should remember, that according to Dijkstra's conjecture, no more than 5 bitches can be around one competitive programmer and the number decreases exponentially with the numbers o CPers in the area. As one can remember, the conjecture was derived from the 5 Lagrangian points, as such the tips we will give will follow the same idea.
Address the number of CPers around you
For somebody following the "Ugly friend" technique this may seem counter-intuitive, as having an uglier friend may make you seem more desirable for bitches, but if we are to follow Dijkstra's conjecture, having CP friends around you will only decrease your already very slim chances. Remember that the "Ugly friend" technique will only work when you have bitches that observe you, otherwise, without an observer, your state will be indefinite, which means you will remain single (not considering your boring CP friends). Ideally you should reduce the amount of CP-related discussions around you to 0, as bitches don't care about such stuff.
Which bitches to follow?
Ideally you should have all 5 bitches around you. Finding who is the "Sun" will help greatly. It may be anybody, from your hot, more capable, more charismatic friend to some random Korean with no personality that girls find attracting because they listen to BTS; maybe even some Asian kid with no social life and bad looks who was forced by his parents to work hard to get into Harvard and get medals at internationals? The options are limitless. If you only see 4 bitches, that's no problem. The bitch on L3 orbit usually is harder to observe. The bitches on L1, L2 and L3 orbits are in unstable positions. Such bitches are ephemeral and will undoubtably leave their orbit the moment you get to close. The one you should really focus on are the girls on L4 and L5 orbit. This greatly reduces the number of relevant bitches to only 2.
Making the right choice
One could ask which of the 2 bitches should one choose. Now this is the hardest part of finding the right bitch and probably adds the most to the constant time. Sadly the Lagrangian points don't give us enough information about which bitch should be preferred in such situations, so you will have to go with your instinct. If you are still stumbling, I will say that on some occasions it is possible to get both bitches on L4 and L5, but that's a topic for another time. I will greatly advise against such an approach, as most of CPers (myself not included) won't handle such a situation appropriately and fail. The best option is building a priority queue where you will insert all the relevant data about the 2 bitches and let the computer decide for you. Note that because the number of elements is equal to 2, the time for running the priority queue can be considered constant.
Final notes
Now that you find the right bitches, the real journey can begin. Making that bitch your own may take more than O(1) time, but that's another algorithm for another time.
Payment
You can pay me just by upvoting this blog and by being a more optimal bitch finder and human being than what you are right now.
Best wishes my friend