Hello Codeforces, a lot of people have been asking me "How do I get GF!?". Well, I'm here to answer this question once and for all.
1. Reach Expert
Until I have reached expert, no girl wanted to talk to me. Right after contest Codeforces Round #677 (Div. 3)(when I reached expert) my Instagram and Snapchat DM's were full of messages from girls asking me out, this will happen to you too.
But you can't only get the girl, you have to maintain her! Which brings me to step 2.
2. Maintaining Expert+
Once you reach Expert, you have to keep it, unless you want her to leave you for another expert. This can be easily done by 2 main ways
Never participate on Codeforces again.
Ask solutions from other people during contests.
PS: Make sure not to get higher than Candidate Master.
3. Keeping the Girl.
Ok, you are maintaining Expert, now you have to keep the girl attracted to you. Wavelength isn't going to do everything.
Buy her stuff. This is a very important step to maintaining a girlfriend(Eg: Food and Purses).
Teach her competitive programming, but make sure you have more rating.
Fight every simp she has to assert dominance.
No dates until marriage.
Upvote this blog post.
4. Flexing on other CP-ers
What's the point of having a GF if you can't flex on single people? NONE!
Message every single one of your friends and tell them about your brand new girlfriend.
"How to get over break up" blog post when?
lmao
the only way is to make a detailed & elaborate plan to win her back
It's here.
Thanks for giving me motivation.Now my sole target is to reach expert.I will burn midnight oil now
HHHHH
As a female, this doesn't apply to me. I need a "how to get a bf."
Why do you need a bf? you are still in school. Enjoy CP and beat Tourist
This is all a joke...
Hey!!!!You gonna make a bf just for profit!!!! So funnyyyy
r/woooosh
Simp
Thanx for your words..
DM me.
Should I dm you?
You are doing justice to your Id
You dont need a tutorial, just find an expert/candidate master.!
Well as a fresh expert do I have any chance?
Literally just talk to a boy, thats about it for the tutorial
how to get a bf? just say it!
come and see me
I don't think that blog is necessary. Because this is blog about "how to get a gf" meaning you are already destination where we people are planning (reading/writing blogpost) to go. right?
:(
Don't be sad, we can trade our accounts, if you want
I love your profile pic. It depicts my usual face expression XD
I liked that picture too. I cropped it out from this comic drawn by @catscafecomics.
On a personal note, I think there was no need to crop that "I am trying my best" tag, it just suits so good.
Yes but the text actually become too small to read, unless you opened the profile to view the bigger version of the picture.
It was better cropped though
It's your chance to become Expert or CM
Do I have no chance if I just touched master once by mistake? I promise to stay in CM
I think that's kinda cool !
Strange that you chose girlfriend over Master
Your Profile pic looks very much like the profile pic of the original poster of the blog (I Don't know if you both are related).
However, I like your perspective of life more than his XD !
They are real life friend .
But there will always be trust issues :(
dm me if you want cp femboyfriend instead ;^)
You must have got 100+ DMs by now.
naturally
what is that?
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=femboy
thanks for info!
I think you misunderstood, we were asking you how to get generating functions, not a girlfriend. By the way, whats a girlfriend?
This but in reverse please
If you don't have the correct rating, making a youtube channel will get you a lot of girlfriends. I have noticed that, for every 6.34 subscribers you get one girlfriend. Just imagine the number of girlfriends Errichto has!!!
Don't know about your stats but around 95% of my viewers are male. So it's limited to 1 girlfriend per 20 subs :(
1 girlfriend per 20 subs. Total subs 210k (Errichto + Errichto 2) = 10.5k girlfriends.
If I am not wrong, that sad expression in your comment stands for having too many girlfriends. It's definitely not an easy task to handle over 10k gfs :p
But if 1 girlfriend costs half of your salary every month...
According to socialblade, Errichto makes roughly $1600 a month off of ad revenue. 1/2($1600 a month) * 10.5k girlfriends = $8.4 million a month
This just reminded me of the legendary tmwilliamlin168 video
Errichto getting hopes after this blog :}. Maybe this might uplift all the loneliness. Just kidding .
Errichto Are you sure 95% of them are male? How come you can be so sure until you know each of them by person? What if 10-15% of accounts are fake accounts i.e. girls making them in others name?
PS: I am just guessing how can you be so sure about 95% stats.
Hey errichto, what about creating a girlfriend bot, I will join you.
Errichto, would you give me a girlfriend if you have ten thousand of them?
Nope. I don't think it's appropriate to just give away a gf. Leave me and my ten thousand girlfriends alone.
Your subscriber count is 3.45k. Congratulations for having 544.164 girlfriends :D
ill take his .164 girlfriend. dont have many choices left
Reaching expert is not a big deal and it won't get you a girlfiend.
r/woosh
This much effort for a GF definitely not worth it.
Can we skip step 3?
When you get a new gf, a graph is generated $$$f(x) = \frac{1}{x}$$$ where Y axis is attraction and X axis is time. You can skip step 3, however your relationship will quickly deteriorate. This can be combated by getting a new gf once the old one isnt interested anymore. By maintaining CM you will have no shortage.
Time to fall down to expert quickly.
????I was shocked
After Reaching EXPERT
My Hope -
Arey Chintu! 6th grade me gf chahiye? app banao, investers ko ladao, relatives ko jalao :D
"Make sure not to get higher than Candidate Master." Okay can do
legendary kartik arora is here xD
guess i got a motivation to practice more
Instructions not clear, have been blue+ for 7 months+ but no DMs have been sent to me like you.
PaPaPanik
I guess I am the perfect fit!
Bro you already have one. Everyone knows it.
What say Redemptioner
So MikeMirzayanov seems quite safe XD, no risk
By combining the PS of 2 (Make sure not to get higher than Candidate Master) with 3.2 (Teach her competitive programming, but make sure you have more rating), do we conclude that girls that are higher than candidate master aren't dateable?
Duh they aren't human, to op...
You just need to hack her account and wait for her new account appearance :D
Your rating seems to suggest your girl is gonna leave you soon xD
Wow, Thank you for your cool tips
Any tips on how to reach Expert from Specialist quickly??? P.S: I need a gf ASAP!!! :(
"Date? Sorry. I have a Rated Codeforces round."
finally someone give me a good reason to reach expert!
now i am surely gonna find girlfriend!!
This man should get a award from codeforces for making the environment so playful, awesome man.
I confirm, I reached cm and I have a beautiful girlfriend. Imagine what would happen if we were red or nutella
Well according to wavelength you would have no chance after being red.. Purple is best accordingly
As an OIer, there's no need to have a girlfriend :)
I don't try to get expert to get girlfriend, I get girlfriend to get expert. My girlfriend is Candidate @@
Don't be fooled guys!!!
We all know that 3D girls don't deserve our attention :)
Maybe having a frickin' personality will help
Experts right now -
What should i do man :(
exchange account :)
Some junior asked me, "Bhaiya you got stuck at candidate master from so long, why don't you participate in contests? Everyone from your group is at least master."
Kids
Oh, so that's the reason, so how many GF u have?
sakshipathak12 you are keeping count, right?
hey dude i am so inspired by you that I created, and joined your fanclub. I invite all of people to join chandanagarwal23 fanclub
Damn OP group you got there bro
This is a scam ! Better keep jerking off to the subroutines you write.
So sad((
Now I will work more hard to get a GF thanks for inspiring me :)
So are you saying that my struggles to hit expert are causing my struggles with getting a GF? Also does this explain why people make smurf accounts?
Newbies like me ova here chillin NNN
Your profile pic+comment gave me laugh haha.
Explain her how FFT works and you will win her heart :D
Don't try that, I checked, it doesn't work
In China,there are too few girls who study the OI....
(At least it is true around me.....
That's true. As I'm also an OIer in China...
Are you girl?
So why not be a gay?
Of course there are many boys around you studying the OI!
You should advise your classmates to be gays,then you can have girls in your class.
Rabbits don't eat the grass by their burrows
Don't give me hope...
So here's another way to get and keep a girl , it was my way ,so if you indulge yourself in cp until expert ,it's gonna take a while(we all know) ,so it's better if you know just some programming language and encourage that girl to code and explain it's necessity and convince them that they definitely need to learn it now you are her guru ,she will come to you to ask hundred doubts on loops and array but you have to be patient and help her through ,and in the meanwhile you can do cp or just do the things u love more(i did later one) so now she is all set to start cp ,either stay below her or not too much above her rank ,that will help to get her more comfortable with you in asking doubts or if she stucks in some problem , idea is not only to give a answer to her (there are so many alredy there) main thing is to discuss it with her , entertain her while discussing , genuinely speaking they don't need you to buy stuffs fr them ,they need you to be supportive , and that's what you have to do when she is around 1000 to 1300 ,she will fall many times and you have to give her support, and encourage her ,be their go to person , if you both are falling ,homour it and if she is only falling, motivate and if u are only falling , humour it too and seek for their support like you need her and that's how you ll get into her heart ,after that it is smooth (sort-of) she will be busy in cp and you can do what you like ,and other efforts will come in play which you have to deal being just more nice to her than any one else,make her feel special and she is all urs:) cheers enjoy the process! Im right n _Isheeka_
who is thhe coolest guy in the town...its u swreck80
Your post is very ironic. XD
So ,Codeforces is really full of desperate virgins . Is this post really deserve this much attention? I don't find it funny either.
It keeps on popping up in the sidebar again and again. So ,what should i conclude ,you will die single if you are not expert . Seriously.
Atleast have some standard, even in humour too.
There are like 25 blogs on the sidebar at all times, just click on the other 24 :)
fax
Could be worse. At least it's not popping up as a notification, right?
Should I be demoted to expert to finally find girlfriend?
It's demoralizing to see that even red coders can't find a girlfriend :(((
bruh you are from IIT, get back to a medical school.
Using your handle name in comments is so cool. But I am sad that I can't do this :(
Why not be a gay?
I completed step 1 and 2 but still single. Any advices??
Try getting another account to expert. I could lend you mine for a bit :)
if he takes your account I could lend you mine:)
plz take mine too
Bai prikalist xddd
Ladies, I'm available now for any questions
Dropped from Expert to Specialist. Now I need "how to get over a breakup". F
Educational rnd did you good. Back in game my man
Sadge
rock babe
aaaAAAaAAaaAAAAAaaAAAAaAAAaAAaAa
Did your cp girlfriend help you at IATI Shumen 2020?
No, she has less rating.
I don't get it.
This is so true. I learnt the hard way that this concept applies to married people as well. The day my rating dropped from Expert to Specialist, my wife left. Then when it fell to Pupil, my dog left as well. Now I'm praying that cf-predictor is accurate about a +37 rating jump so I can become an Expert and get both her and my dog back.
If your dog left you after your rating dropped, time to get a new dog.
Not sure about your wife.
Wow, I didn't think it was real, but just happened to me too! Now I have > 100 message requests from girls!
This is my first day after reaching expert but my instagram DMs are completely empty, I am wondering why this is still happening ! maybe because of my ugly face :(
I got a lot of them when I became expert .. as a side effect I was so into this dumb game .. I ended up losing -250 in just 2 contest ..
Lesson Learned : After becoming Expert read blogs which say "How to get to candidate master".
https://codeforces.com/blog/entry/84960
What do you think of this blog?
Doing infomatics is for getting GF
as a newbie(deep sigh)
Finally!!!! I am eligible now!
To all Now is your chance to become Expert or Candidate Master
Why aren't you taking use of it?
Will use it in a few days, BTW I chose all option Before choosing LGM
And then you wake up
Doesn't work :(